How do you deal with change?

A Greek philosopher once said that change is the only constant in life. He might be right because if you are to look back a year or two ago, your circumstances are probably different than your current situation now.

I know many of us have a love-hate relationship with change. When certain things are going great, we all want it to stay the same. We do our best to keep going, enjoying every moment of it. But life doesn't roll that way, sometimes it will go downhill. Change is unavoidable no matter how hard we try. 

A failed relationship, career transition, big move, death of a loved one are few things we cannot control, and most definitely will affect our entire being. Some people can cope well with it, but some will struggle. 

In my own personal view, all has changed about me except for one thing, my faith. It has been stronger than ever. I must admit that my life hasn't always been high. I have difficult moments, I struggled understanding my situation I’m in but my faith has seen me through it all, the good and the bad.

Indeed, I am grateful to my parents who pushed me to delve deeper to my faith. I used to complain a lot about going to early masses, the litany of long prayers before eating, before driving, etc. I never understood it before, I wish I could have skipped it. As I grew older, I realized that putting God first before anything else felt like I was off to a good start. There is a sense of comfort that no matter what was thrown at me, I am capable of overcoming it. God helps me navigate tough decisions and He grants me peace of mind. I must admit, Jesus mattered more today than He did yesterday. So, whatever comes my way, the curve balls, unexpected twists and turns, I know I can do it through Christ who strengthens me.

So how about you? How do you deal with change?

 

Friendship over the years

 

Circa San Francisco 2015

I think we are all familiar with the saying, "Collect and select." I have associated this line with dating and courtship. It is believed that a man or a woman would go out on a date with multiple individuals to be able to choose the best one at the end. Some may have different opinions about it and I'm just gonna leave it like that because what I'm trying to point out is that, this mentality also applies with our friendships.

I consider myself a very social person. I love to hang-out. I enjoy entertaining. I like to be surrounded with others.  I love to hear their stories and I also like to share my story. So over the years, I have met a lot of people from my childhood, high school, college, all my extra-curricular activities, abroad and in the present time. They represented all walks of life. They have somehow taught me a thing or two. Some of them I'm still friends with and some they were just a passerby. But among the many, which friends would probably stay for the years to come?

That is why, I came across with the idea of collect and select and as to how it has affected our friendship over time. The friendship we've built early on our lives might possibly not last. But it doesn't mean that those people were not important. In fact, they were once part of our lives and either one of you became that shoulder to cry on for that person and that will be a memory to cherish.

As human beings, our lives tend to drift apart and drifting apart is always a hard idea to accept but it's part of our reality. It could be a change of career path, moving out of state or just the average change of point of view. Then from there, we have the tendency to shed friends. It's a natural thing because we are going through the phenomenon of maturity and growth. The things we like together, our opinions, our lifestyle and our priorities would begin to differ. It's not that we dislike each other, we pretty much just move on. So just be ready to make new ones. It's scary I know. But we need to make that one step.

I read this from an article and it made me think hard because this is how I feel when it comes to my friends. 

"I cling to friends because they are like mementos, photographs, and diaries. Since I don't live with a built-in camcorder, an infinite supply of audiotape, my friends fill in the gaps and form a composite. Their recollections boil down to reality; their commentary boils down to perspective. I build on their remembrances to figure out who I am, where I was and when it really happened. Friends are my antidote to fading memory." -Bonnie Mcgrath

Such a beautiful reminder. Truth to be told, as I got older, I only share my most deepest intimacy, darkest secret and my crazy escapades to a few. I'm sure you have those selected ones who maintains that special place in your heart. However, for all those friendships we've built in our lifetime, somehow they have played a significant role in our lives whether we admit or not. They helped us become who we are now because “A friend is a person you decide you like, and then you choose to do stuff with them.” 

And truly, I am grateful for those who've stuck around. Who needs a lot when you only need a few good ones. 

Life is an Incredible Show

Disclaimer: This is NOT my piece but I like the wisdom of this passage.

Click here for the original. 

You may have flaws, live anxious, and sometimes get angry, but never forget that your life is the biggest company in the world. And you can keep it from going bankrupt.

There are many people who need, admire and cheer for you. I wish that you always remember that being happy is not having a sky without storms, paths without accidents, work without fatigue, relationships without disappointments.

 

Being happy is finding strength in forgiveness, hope in battles, security in fear, love in disagreements.

Being happy is not only appreciating the smiles, but reflecting on the sadness. It is not just celebrating the success, but also learning lessons in failures. Not only having joy in applause, but finding joy in anonymity.

Being happy is recognizing that life is worth living, despite all the challenges, misunderstandings and periods of crisis.

Being happy is no longer being a victim of the problems and becoming an author of history itself. It is crossing deserts outside of yourself, but being able to find an oasis in the secret of your soul. It is thanking God every morning for the miracle of life.

 

Being happy is not being afraid of your own feelings. It’s knowing how to talk to yourself.

It’s the courage to hear a “No” and be confident enough to receive criticism, although sometimes untrue.

Being happy is to let the child living within us to live free, happy and simple.

It is having the needed maturity to say “I was wrong”.

It is having the essential courage to say “forgive me”.

It is having the indispensable sensibility to say “I need you”.

It is being able to say “I love you”.

It is having the humility of receptivity.

I want life to be a hotbed of opportunities and that you be happy. And when you go astray, start again. This way, you will find that being happy is not having a perfect life, but using tears to irrigate tolerance. 

Using losses to refine patience.
Using failures to reach prayer.
Using obstacles to open the windows of intelligence.

Never give up hope.

Never give up the people you love.

Never give up on being happy, because life is a no-miss obstacle, even if it gives you dozens of reasons to demonstrate the contrary.