Since I moved down south, I had no choice but to drive everywhere. It was a major adjustment on my end especially that I was so used of taking a public transportation. I rarely see people walk here unless you are on the tourist route.
Anyhow, I notice something about myself whenever I'm behind the wheel. A perfect example was today. It's Saturday morning and I had to go to work. On regular days, it will only take 20 minutes for me to get there. I am very familiar with which side roads to take, the traffic volume and even the co-drivers alongside. Today was different though because it's the weekend. I expected it to be less traffic and less chaotic. But guess what? It took 40 minutes to get to my destination because there was a heavy congestion along the highway. I wasn't having it and it made me very furious that I started screaming inside my car. I wanted to honk at everybody. What I finally figured out at the end wasn't the traffic, it was me, I became very impatient when there's no need to.
Long lines at the grocery, Netflix not loading, waiting for the train to arrive, taking turns in entering intersection are few things that drives us bananas. Although they are all situations where we can absolutely use a little extra patience. I understand that with time at premium, we are so used to having what we need immediately. We also resort in looking for shortcuts. (Hence, same-day delivery is now an option. Lol!) I think that most of us get so easily annoyed by the inconveniences of life. We just want to achieve our goals and see immediate results. With life full of dings and pings, how can we practice the virtue of patience?
Meditate (Pray)
As my road rage incident today, I took a step back, breathe and prayed. I offered that feeling of anger to God that He may be able to channel it differently. I think it is very important that we pause in moments of desolation and gather ourselves back again. Any form of meditation can help us calm our minds and bodies. Try to set a daily time to decompress.
Practice Gratitude
Take some time to notice and reflect upon the things you're thankful for. Appreciate every good thing in life and recognizing even the smallest blessing you've received. When we become grateful, we experience positive emotions and we can express compassion and kindness to the people around us and to the situation we are in.
Stop Resisting
When we encounter unplanned inconveniences, let's take it calmly. Sure enough we can't control our reaction but we can choose how to respond to the situation. Most often than not, it is our reaction to things that causes greater dose of stress in life. So let it all flow.
Embrace the Uncomfortable
When we experience something out of our comfort zone, there's a huge tendency that we become impatient. We always want to be in control of the situation but that's not always the case. We need to become comfortable with the uncomfortable in order to cultivate more patience.
As Saadi Shirazi said, "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy." Therefore, let's thrive to become better individuals because the more we exercise patience, the greater it becomes.
A Greek philosopher once said that change is the only constant in life. He might be right because if you are to look back a year or two ago, your circumstances are probably different than your current situation now.
I know many of us have a love-hate relationship with change. When certain things are going great, we all want it to stay the same. We do our best to keep going, enjoying every moment of it. But life doesn't roll that way, sometimes it will go downhill. Change is unavoidable no matter how hard we try.
A failed relationship, career transition, big move, death of a loved one are few things we cannot control, and most definitely will affect our entire being. Some people can cope well with it, but some will struggle.
In my own personal view, all has changed about me except for one thing, my faith. It has been stronger than ever. I must admit that my life hasn't always been high. I have difficult moments, I struggled understanding my situation I’m in but my faith has seen me through it all, the good and the bad.
Indeed, I am grateful to my parents who pushed me to delve deeper to my faith. I used to complain a lot about going to early masses, the litany of long prayers before eating, before driving, etc. I never understood it before, I wish I could have skipped it. As I grew older, I realized that putting God first before anything else felt like I was off to a good start. There is a sense of comfort that no matter what was thrown at me, I am capable of overcoming it. God helps me navigate tough decisions and He grants me peace of mind. I must admit, Jesus mattered more today than He did yesterday. So, whatever comes my way, the curve balls, unexpected twists and turns, I know I can do it through Christ who strengthens me.
So how about you? How do you deal with change?
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| Circa San Francisco 2015 |
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I think we are all familiar with the saying, "Collect and select." I have associated this line with dating and courtship. It is believed that a man or a woman would go out on a date with multiple individuals to be able to choose the best one at the end. Some may have different opinions about it and I'm just gonna leave it like that because what I'm trying to point out is that, this mentality also applies with our friendships.
I consider myself a very social person. I love to hang-out. I enjoy entertaining. I like to be surrounded with others. I love to hear their stories and I also like to share my story. So over the years, I have met a lot of people from my childhood, high school, college, all my extra-curricular activities, abroad and in the present time. They represented all walks of life. They have somehow taught me a thing or two. Some of them I'm still friends with and some they were just a passerby. But among the many, which friends would probably stay for the years to come?
That is why, I came across with the idea of collect and select and as to how it has affected our friendship over time. The friendship we've built early on our lives might possibly not last. But it doesn't mean that those people were not important. In fact, they were once part of our lives and either one of you became that shoulder to cry on for that person and that will be a memory to cherish.
As human beings, our lives tend to drift apart and drifting apart is always a hard idea to accept but it's part of our reality. It could be a change of career path, moving out of state or just the average change of point of view. Then from there, we have the tendency to shed friends. It's a natural thing because we are going through the phenomenon of maturity and growth. The things we like together, our opinions, our lifestyle and our priorities would begin to differ. It's not that we dislike each other, we pretty much just move on. So just be ready to make new ones. It's scary I know. But we need to make that one step.
I read this from an article and it made me think hard because this is how I feel when it comes to my friends.
"I cling to friends because they are like mementos, photographs, and
diaries. Since I don't live with a built-in camcorder, an infinite
supply of audiotape, my friends fill in the gaps and form a composite.
Their recollections boil down to reality; their commentary boils down to
perspective. I build on their remembrances to figure out who I am,
where I was and when it really happened. Friends are my antidote to
fading memory." -Bonnie Mcgrath
Such a beautiful reminder. Truth to be told, as I got older, I only share my most deepest intimacy, darkest secret and my crazy escapades to a few. I'm sure you have those selected ones who maintains that special place in your heart. However, for all those friendships we've built in our lifetime, somehow they have played a significant role in our lives whether we admit or not. They helped us become who we are now because “A friend is a person you decide you like, and then you choose to do
stuff with them.”
And truly, I am grateful for those who've stuck around. Who needs a lot when you only need a few good ones.
