I personally started this year with a big mantra, "Get your 2020 vision on!" I always have this feeling of renewed hope and energy every new year most especially that this year we were entering a beginning of a decade. I wrote down some big, bold goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year. It will serve as my guide and my motivation as the year progresses. I had a bag full of optimism that everything will carry out as planned. Apparently, the universe had it the other way. Who would have thought that we will be facing a world crisis that will put everything on hold? Nobody saw it coming. No one was prepared for it. No one was even exempted. Hearts were crushed. Things got blurred. We got stuck. I got stuck. But as what they say, life must go on, right?
As I reflect upon what's good in 2020, there are only a few things I can enumerate but I want to dig deeper because first and foremost, I am blessed to be alive (and if you're reading this, you are blessed too). One of the major realizations that really hit me during this pandemic are the things that I have taken for granted.
By being present. As many of you know, my family is in New York and there was not one single moment that I don't think about their safety. The idea of one them contracting the virus terrifies me and I cannot even fathom the news about not being able to see them if something happens. It would break my heart to pieces. So now, if neither my mom or dad calls me, I try to pick up the phone and chat with them. I set aside my annoyance and just take a moment to update them with what's going on with my life. It helped deepen my relationship with them. This goes out to our friends too, to whom we haven't reached out for a long time. We can't rely on their social media to know how they're doing. Go out of your way to connect again because I think that is what the world needs right now, human connection. Also, our presence is our casual way of expressing love. So find the time to be there for your loved ones when you can.
God is in control. When the year started I already mapped out all of the plans that I wanted to achieve-- the places I want to travel, start my cooking business, save money, lose weight, etc... Fast forward, all of the things mentioned are still up in the air and who knows when will this come to life. I complained. I got angry. I felt defeated because things were not going the way I wanted it to be. As someone who likes to plan things out, this was a nightmare. I felt stuck. Nobody really saw this coming but I was reminded of God's love and grace. He got this in control and I just needed to surrender to Him my worries and my desires. I may not understand His purpose but I know that He is continuously working through you and me. This pandemic has earnestly allowed me to keep trusting Him. Maybe I needed to work on with myself, to be more patient and to use this time to self-reflect. I believe that when we trust God for our provision, our guidance, and our purpose, we find rest.
Be grateful. During this crazy times, life has been ultimately challenging. It's hard to see the good of the current situation we are in. We sometimes obsessed ourselves with the what ifs and I don't blame you. Something can emerge out of nowhere like Covid-19 and it has affected everybody. It is in our human nature to worry. In order to lessen that anxiety, try to practice gratefulness. It somehow helped me divert my attention to what matters at this very moment. I know some people that are going through major hardships more than I did and my heart breaks for them. That is why, I consider every waking day as a blessing. I am alive and I am able to witness God's beautiful creation. I remind myself of the small victories that I get to enjoy and just cultivate a grateful heart. I've read this somewhere and it rings true to me, "Raising your gratitude game can make you feel happier even during these unsettled times."
Time is of the essence. When we used to complain about not being able to do something before due to our hectic schedule, now is the time to seriously fulfill those desires. Since this pandemic is still a long winding road, we might as well use this as opportunity to better ourselves. Find that drive to improve your health, fix your relationships, look into your finances, take up lost hobbies and be reacquainted with your core values. I have personally taken this chance to get to know myself again, learn a skill or two and embrace contentment with what I have. I'm working on being a good wife, a loving daughter and a dependable sister and friend. All we have is now, so make use of it.
2020 will never be forgotten. We will remember the battle scars this year has brought us. We can't bring back the lost times but we can definitely switch things around and make the most of what we can. We always have a choice on how we can alter the ending of this year. Besides, we grow through what we go through. Love and prayers to y'all!
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