Upward Venture

Are you passionate about something and you really really want to make it happen? But every time you're set of "trying" it out, you already have millions of reason to back out? Your mind is already filled with negative thoughts and discouragement gets ahead of you. There's also that feeling that everyone else is progressing except you. We struggle in figuring out what we're meant to be and we can't seem to make that leap.

My friend, you are not alone. We are on the same boat. It's everybody's life struggle. Although I have learn that in order to get things done, you simply need to begin. It's a very powerful phrase indeed and here I am hoping to venture out. 

As some of you are well aware, I love to cook. I don't know when or how it all started but I'm very comfortable in the kitchen. I cook by experience meaning I try to replicate a dish by how I remember it when I first tasted it. That is why, I fancy eating at different restaurants and enjoy every minute of it. Watching a lot of cooking shows helped me improve my skill set too. I'm learning different kitchen terms and new techniques.

In my family, both my parents cook but most of the time my dad often prepares our meal. Even without following a recipe, my dad can  make most of those meals taste delicious. I would probably say that he kind of inspired me to get into cooking. Now, I spend some ample time in planning and making meals. Being in the kitchen is my way of relieving stress. It also allows me to express creativity by experimenting new flavor profile or by simply trying out seasonal ingredients. I also get to feed the people I care about and it feels great when I'm complimented that they've enjoyed what I prepared for them.

As I think about my future plans, I have given a serious thought of pursuing a culinary career but at this point, it's not yet feasible. I'm starting by getting a word out, in the most logical way nowadays through social media. I've created an Instagram handle where I can personally showcase the food that I've made from my own kitchen. A good friend of mine helped me in coming up with the name, it's Q'sina [Ku.si.na] which means kitchen in Filipino. I will be making different kind of cuisines but also sticking to some of favorite Filipino dishes. 

It's a baby step but who knows maybe one day I can make a gig out of this. So if there's something that you're passionate about and wants to pursue it, give it a go because honestly, there's no harm in trying.

A Powerhouse Prayer: Litany of Humility

"To be taken with love for a soul, God doesn't look on its greatness but on the greatness of its humility."- St. John of the Cross

I just want to share a very moving and powerful prayer with you. It's a prayer that cultivates humility and practices self-denial. The Litany of Humility was composed by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val who served as the Secretary of State for Pope Pius X.
 
To be humble is to realize how weak we are, how helpless we are to change the course of our lives in our own power. We need to allow God to work in us and through us. We need to remember that God is God and we are not. Yes, we are imperfect, flawed and inadequate but if we come before Him, He will give us the grace to become more virtuous and loving. God doesn't demand us to be perfect but He simply ask us to accept His guidance so we can learn from our mistakes and grow in perfection. 

So if you are struggling with pride, self-centerdness, just remember this prayer:

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

 deliver me, Jesus. (Repeat after each following line)

From the desire of being loved…

From the desire of being extolled…

From the desire of being honored …

From the desire of being praised …

From the desire of being preferred to others…

From the desire of being consulted …

From the desire of being approved …

From the fear of being humiliated …

From the fear of being despised…

From the fear of suffering rebukes …

From the fear of being calumniated …

From the fear of being forgotten …

From the fear of being ridiculed …

From the fear of being wronged …

From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I, 

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. (Repeat after each following line)

That others may be esteemed more than I …

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease …

That others may be chosen and I set aside …

That others may be praised and I unnoticed …

That others may be preferred to me in everything..

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Amen.

The Road Rage Within Myself

Since I moved down south, I had no choice but to drive everywhere. It was a major adjustment on my end especially that I was so used of taking a public transportation. I rarely see people walk here unless you are on the tourist route.

Anyhow, I notice something about myself whenever I'm behind the wheel. A perfect example was today. It's Saturday morning and I had to go to work. On regular days, it will only take 20 minutes for me to get there. I am very familiar with which side roads to take, the traffic volume and even the co-drivers alongside. Today was different though because it's the weekend. I expected it to be less traffic and less chaotic. But guess what? It took 40 minutes to get to my destination because there was a heavy congestion along the highway. I wasn't having it and it made me very furious that I started screaming inside my car. I wanted to honk at everybody. What I finally figured out at the end wasn't the traffic, it was me, I became very impatient when there's no need to.

Long lines at the grocery, Netflix not loading, waiting for the train to arrive, taking turns in entering intersection are few things that drives us bananas. Although they are all situations where we can absolutely use a little extra patience. I understand that with time at premium, we are so used to having what we need immediately. We also resort in looking for shortcuts. (Hence, same-day delivery is now an option. Lol!) I think that most of us get so easily annoyed by the inconveniences of life. We just want to achieve our goals and see immediate results. With life full of dings and pings, how can we practice the virtue of patience?

Meditate (Pray)
As my road rage incident today, I took a step back, breathe and prayed. I offered that feeling of anger to God that He may be able to channel it differently. I think it is very important that we pause in moments of desolation and gather ourselves back again. Any form of meditation can help us calm our minds and bodies. Try to set a daily time to decompress.

Practice Gratitude
Take some time to notice and reflect upon the things you're thankful for. Appreciate every good thing in life and recognizing even the smallest blessing you've received. When we become grateful, we experience positive emotions and we can express compassion and kindness to the people around us and to the situation we are in.

Stop Resisting 
When we encounter unplanned inconveniences, let's take it calmly. Sure enough we can't control our  reaction but we can choose how to respond to the situation. Most often than not, it is our reaction to things that causes greater dose of stress in life. So let it all flow.

Embrace the Uncomfortable
When we experience something out of our comfort zone, there's a huge tendency that we become impatient. We always want to be in control of the situation but that's not always the case. We need to become comfortable with the uncomfortable in order to cultivate more patience.

As Saadi Shirazi said, "Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy." Therefore, let's thrive to become better individuals because the more we exercise patience, the greater it becomes.

How do you deal with change?

A Greek philosopher once said that change is the only constant in life. He might be right because if you are to look back a year or two ago, your circumstances are probably different than your current situation now.

I know many of us have a love-hate relationship with change. When certain things are going great, we all want it to stay the same. We do our best to keep going, enjoying every moment of it. But life doesn't roll that way, sometimes it will go downhill. Change is unavoidable no matter how hard we try. 

A failed relationship, career transition, big move, death of a loved one are few things we cannot control, and most definitely will affect our entire being. Some people can cope well with it, but some will struggle. 

In my own personal view, all has changed about me except for one thing, my faith. It has been stronger than ever. I must admit that my life hasn't always been high. I have difficult moments, I struggled understanding my situation I’m in but my faith has seen me through it all, the good and the bad.

Indeed, I am grateful to my parents who pushed me to delve deeper to my faith. I used to complain a lot about going to early masses, the litany of long prayers before eating, before driving, etc. I never understood it before, I wish I could have skipped it. As I grew older, I realized that putting God first before anything else felt like I was off to a good start. There is a sense of comfort that no matter what was thrown at me, I am capable of overcoming it. God helps me navigate tough decisions and He grants me peace of mind. I must admit, Jesus mattered more today than He did yesterday. So, whatever comes my way, the curve balls, unexpected twists and turns, I know I can do it through Christ who strengthens me.

So how about you? How do you deal with change?

 

Friendship over the years

 

Circa San Francisco 2015

I think we are all familiar with the saying, "Collect and select." I have associated this line with dating and courtship. It is believed that a man or a woman would go out on a date with multiple individuals to be able to choose the best one at the end. Some may have different opinions about it and I'm just gonna leave it like that because what I'm trying to point out is that, this mentality also applies with our friendships.

I consider myself a very social person. I love to hang-out. I enjoy entertaining. I like to be surrounded with others.  I love to hear their stories and I also like to share my story. So over the years, I have met a lot of people from my childhood, high school, college, all my extra-curricular activities, abroad and in the present time. They represented all walks of life. They have somehow taught me a thing or two. Some of them I'm still friends with and some they were just a passerby. But among the many, which friends would probably stay for the years to come?

That is why, I came across with the idea of collect and select and as to how it has affected our friendship over time. The friendship we've built early on our lives might possibly not last. But it doesn't mean that those people were not important. In fact, they were once part of our lives and either one of you became that shoulder to cry on for that person and that will be a memory to cherish.

As human beings, our lives tend to drift apart and drifting apart is always a hard idea to accept but it's part of our reality. It could be a change of career path, moving out of state or just the average change of point of view. Then from there, we have the tendency to shed friends. It's a natural thing because we are going through the phenomenon of maturity and growth. The things we like together, our opinions, our lifestyle and our priorities would begin to differ. It's not that we dislike each other, we pretty much just move on. So just be ready to make new ones. It's scary I know. But we need to make that one step.

I read this from an article and it made me think hard because this is how I feel when it comes to my friends. 

"I cling to friends because they are like mementos, photographs, and diaries. Since I don't live with a built-in camcorder, an infinite supply of audiotape, my friends fill in the gaps and form a composite. Their recollections boil down to reality; their commentary boils down to perspective. I build on their remembrances to figure out who I am, where I was and when it really happened. Friends are my antidote to fading memory." -Bonnie Mcgrath

Such a beautiful reminder. Truth to be told, as I got older, I only share my most deepest intimacy, darkest secret and my crazy escapades to a few. I'm sure you have those selected ones who maintains that special place in your heart. However, for all those friendships we've built in our lifetime, somehow they have played a significant role in our lives whether we admit or not. They helped us become who we are now because “A friend is a person you decide you like, and then you choose to do stuff with them.” 

And truly, I am grateful for those who've stuck around. Who needs a lot when you only need a few good ones. 

Life is an Incredible Show

Disclaimer: This is NOT my piece but I like the wisdom of this passage.

Click here for the original. 

You may have flaws, live anxious, and sometimes get angry, but never forget that your life is the biggest company in the world. And you can keep it from going bankrupt.

There are many people who need, admire and cheer for you. I wish that you always remember that being happy is not having a sky without storms, paths without accidents, work without fatigue, relationships without disappointments.

 

Being happy is finding strength in forgiveness, hope in battles, security in fear, love in disagreements.

Being happy is not only appreciating the smiles, but reflecting on the sadness. It is not just celebrating the success, but also learning lessons in failures. Not only having joy in applause, but finding joy in anonymity.

Being happy is recognizing that life is worth living, despite all the challenges, misunderstandings and periods of crisis.

Being happy is no longer being a victim of the problems and becoming an author of history itself. It is crossing deserts outside of yourself, but being able to find an oasis in the secret of your soul. It is thanking God every morning for the miracle of life.

 

Being happy is not being afraid of your own feelings. It’s knowing how to talk to yourself.

It’s the courage to hear a “No” and be confident enough to receive criticism, although sometimes untrue.

Being happy is to let the child living within us to live free, happy and simple.

It is having the needed maturity to say “I was wrong”.

It is having the essential courage to say “forgive me”.

It is having the indispensable sensibility to say “I need you”.

It is being able to say “I love you”.

It is having the humility of receptivity.

I want life to be a hotbed of opportunities and that you be happy. And when you go astray, start again. This way, you will find that being happy is not having a perfect life, but using tears to irrigate tolerance. 

Using losses to refine patience.
Using failures to reach prayer.
Using obstacles to open the windows of intelligence.

Never give up hope.

Never give up the people you love.

Never give up on being happy, because life is a no-miss obstacle, even if it gives you dozens of reasons to demonstrate the contrary.

Hasta La Vista, New York!

My favorite view of NYC (Gantry Plaza Long Island City). And as the song goes, "if you can make it here you can make it anywhere."

It's been a month since I left the city of dreams. At first, I would never have imagined that I will be given a chance to live there. I've only heard about New York City from songs, I've only seen it through movies, read it from novels and fast forward 8 years I considered it my second home.

Summer time at Jacob Riis

I have a love/hate relationship with New York. You need to keep up with it-- the hustling and the bustling. It is as lively as it can be and there's tons of things to explore from Coney Island to the tip of Montauk and to the beautiful Niagara falls. There's always something to be excited about. My youthful years were full of first time experiences and I will not trade it for the world. But even with the hyped, there were moments where I just want to disappear from it because it was not always easy. 

TOUGHEN UP, You're up for a ride! Yes, you heard it right. In order for you to survive, you need to learn how to stand up for yourself. This is one of the things New York has taught me: "speak up lady because if not, they'll eat you alive" and I'm not kidding when I say that. From my past work experience, I was always the 'Yes' person, everything is okay, I can do it, etc... but they got me so good that for the last 3 years I gave them my all and accommodated to my boss' needs and what's left for me, exhaustion. So here's to saying, enough is enough, I did love my job but I also love myself.

Flowers bloom at Brooklyn Botanic Garden

The day to day hustle in New York is a struggle. You get to meet angry people on the street and they screamed for no reasons at all. You're stuck on the F train for as long as you can remember and what's worse, you're stuck and it's stinky. Instead of counting sheep you start counting rats until your train comes. You need to be physically prepared especially on a rush hour because everyone is pushing. There's always something happening and I must admit it, I'm missing the action. I missed the sound of the sirens, the honks, the chit-chatters, the lame and great performances in the subway, the food stands in every corner, the bodegas, the city itself and it's nooks. In contrary, what I don't miss is how expensive the cost of living there. You really need to work your butt off to be at least comfortable.

Family Portrait at Dumbo, Brooklyn

 But being in New York with millions of people and with a list of things to do, it can also be quite lonely and isolating. It was difficult to get access to friendships because there was always a need of advance planning to get together. That's why, you would have to find your own person in this big city. A very important tip my friend, start making connections with others. Make use of the free activities around the city. Go out and meet like minded individuals where you can share your interests with. Find a solid community where you can practice your faith. Discover new places and you'll learn to enjoy the beauty of solitude. 

You are missed! xoxo, Cham

Personally, I'm beyond blessed to have my family and few close friends with me on my New York journey. It somehow made this entire ordeal easy. But I also commend those who were brave enough to hustle on their own-- you guys are the real troopers!

I can honestly say that living in New York is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It allowed me to come out from my conservative shell and see life evolved with my own two eyes. Things were not always easy, but I managed to juggle. I valued relationships more than ever, the blood and sweat of hard-earned income and a stronger belief of God's purpose for me. And with a happy and contented heart, I'm officially taking a break from my New York chapter.  Off to a new adventure!