2021 I felt..............

So much love,
So much gratitude,
So much learning,
So much tears,

So much laughter,
So much faith,
So much trust,
So much patience,
So much risk-taking,

So much self-reflection,
So much cultivation &
So much more.

It's been a long time since I posted something in this platform. Life has been busy lately that I never got a chance to write something. Well it is the year ender and I have a lot of feelings about it.

It was a year of highs and lows, a year of growth and a year of unlocking potential. Since the lockdown I have learned to appreciate life even more. I valued relationships and have taken a plunge to follow what my heart truly desires. Although things didn't always go my way but it was a humbling experience to fail and rise above it.

This year, I lost an uncle to Covid and it broke my heart. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to him but it also opened an opportunity for my family to come together and reconnect. Of course it was sad that we waited for something bad to happen for us to work on our relationship with one another but I felt like it somehow allowed me to reflect upon how short life is and every opportunity shouldn't be taken for granted.

Over the years, I was afraid of taking some risks. I was afraid to fail and not succeed. I was afraid to try new things because it may not work out and I will be very devastated of the results. But I look deeper into myself and decided to put that fear behind me and start living life as it should be. No matter which angle I look, risks will always be a part of my life and it is up to me as to how I handle it. That is why 2021 was a year of saying YES. It was the year where I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

In 2021, I invested on my health. I maintained my line of communication with close friends and family. I revisited a painful experience of the past and learned to slowly get back to it (dancing-- this deserves another entry). I hiked Angel's landing which tested my physical strength. I entered the world of social selling to have a sustainable income. I gained new friendships which I'm grateful for. I got the 'Rona and by God's grace I was healed. I celebrated my 3rd year in Nashville. And most of all, I have learned to give myself grace.

As we enter a new year, I challenged myself to be INTENTIONAL in all aspects of my life. I choose a word of the year because it helps me bring focus and direction as to what I want to achieve. I want to be intentional with my finances, my marriage, my relationships, health and myself. I want to live purposefully and I want meaningful experiences that will allow me to grow as a wife, sister, friend and business owner. 

How did your year go? Whether 2021 was successful, not that great or you’ve spent it taking one day at a time, be proud of yourself. The last two years have been unpredictable and full of uncertainty, yet here you are. Make the best of what you can.

Blessed,

Charmaine

What's good, 2020?

Oh boy, what a significant year. One for the books I would say. 2020 will always be part of history.

I personally started this year with a big mantra, "Get your 2020 vision on!" I always have this feeling of renewed hope and energy every new year most especially that this year we were entering a beginning of a decade. I wrote down some big, bold goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year. It will serve as my guide and my motivation as the year progresses. I had a bag full of optimism that everything will carry out as planned. Apparently, the universe had it the other way. Who would have thought that we will be facing a world crisis that will put everything on hold? Nobody saw it coming. No one was prepared for it. No one was even exempted. Hearts were crushed. Things got blurred. We got stuck. I got stuck. But as what they say, life must go on, right?

As I reflect upon what's good in 2020, there are only a few things I can enumerate but I want to dig deeper because first and foremost, I am blessed to be alive (and if you're reading this, you are blessed too). One of the major realizations that really hit me during this pandemic are the things that I have taken for granted.

By being present. As many of you know, my family is in New York and there was not one single moment that I don't think about their safety. The idea of one them contracting the virus terrifies me and I cannot even fathom the news about not being able to see them if something happens. It would break my heart to pieces. So now, if neither my mom or dad calls me, I try to pick up the phone and chat with them. I set aside my annoyance and just take a moment to update them with what's going on with my life. It helped deepen my relationship with them. This goes out to our friends too, to whom we haven't reached out for a long time. We can't rely on their social media to know how they're doing. Go out of your way to connect again because I think that is what the world needs right now, human connection. Also, our presence is our casual way of expressing love. So find the time to be there for your loved ones when you can. 

God is in control. When the year started I already mapped out all of the plans that I wanted to achieve-- the places I want to travel, start my cooking business, save money, lose weight, etc... Fast forward, all of the things mentioned are still up in the air and who knows when will this come to life. I complained. I got angry. I felt defeated because things were not going the way I wanted it to be. As someone who likes to plan things out, this was a nightmare. I felt stuck. Nobody really saw this coming but I was reminded of God's love and grace. He got this in control and I just needed to surrender to Him my worries and my desires. I may not understand His purpose but I know that He is continuously working through you and me. This pandemic has earnestly allowed me to keep trusting Him. Maybe I needed to work on with myself, to be more patient and to use this time to self-reflect. I believe that when we trust God for our provision, our guidance, and our purpose, we find rest.

Be grateful. During this crazy times, life has been ultimately challenging. It's hard to see the good of the current situation we are in. We sometimes obsessed ourselves with the what ifs and I don't blame you. Something can emerge out of nowhere like Covid-19 and it has affected everybody. It is in our human nature to worry. In order to lessen that anxiety, try to practice gratefulness. It somehow helped me divert my attention to what matters at this very moment. I know some people that are going through major hardships more than I did and my heart breaks for them. That is why, I consider every waking day as a blessing. I am alive and I am able to witness God's beautiful creation. I remind myself of the small victories that I get to enjoy and just cultivate a grateful heart. I've read this somewhere and it rings true to me, "Raising your gratitude game can make you feel happier even during these unsettled times."

Time is of the essence. When we used to complain about not being able to do something before due to our hectic schedule, now is the time to seriously fulfill those desires. Since this pandemic is still a long winding road, we might as well use this as opportunity to better ourselves. Find that drive to improve your health, fix your relationships, look into your finances, take up lost hobbies and be reacquainted with your core values. I have personally taken this chance to get to know myself again, learn a skill or two and embrace contentment with what I have. I'm working on being a good wife, a loving daughter and a dependable sister and friend. All we have is now, so make use of it. 

2020 will never be forgotten. We will remember the battle scars this year has brought us. We can't bring back the lost times but we can definitely switch things around and make the most of what we can. We always have a choice on how we can alter the ending of this year. Besides, we grow through what we go through. Love and prayers to y'all! 

2019 in a Nutshell

**Disclaimer: This post was meant to be published before the year ended but I was caught up with a lot of stuff. Better late than never! Happy New Year!

January

My 1st month in Nashville was a little sentimental. I was missing home a whole lot. I missed having my family and friends around. I'm thankful for technology though because I got to Facetime most of them especially my nephew. But on the later part, I also enjoyed my time just resting and slowing down. I realized that I was always on the move for the past years and didn't get a chance to just pause and breathe. I was also blessed to land a job very quickly.

February

We started to explore what Nashville has to offer, and so far I'm very happy that we have the access to do nature tripping. We don't need to drive very far to be able to do it. I said to myself beginning of the year that I will try new things, explore new heights and so here I am venturing out indoor wall climbing. I must say I need to work on my upper body strength. Phew! Also, in Feb, Nelson turned 33 and we had some of his workmates come to our apartment and I was able to cook for them. (Side note: I love it when I get to host a luncheon.)

March

Miggy turned 1 and I got the chance to fly back to New York and celebrate with the family. I was also able to see some friends and man, it felt so good to be surrounded with some familiar faces. The food trips which I apparently plan due to the limited food options in Nash, the life updates, the laughs and everything else, I was silently capturing it to my most cherished moments. I also realized from this trip that the Big Apple will always be part of my fiber but it is time to put that behind because I can't keep up with the hustle anymore.

April

New found friends. I am beyond grateful for finding new sisterhood to nurture. The very first thing that I did upon moving was to check the catholic community in Nashville. I was hopping from one church to another until I associated myself with a young adult community where I was able to meet these lovely ladies. (Pro tip: You really need to put yourself out there.)

May

Nelson and I decided to do a road trip and celebrate our 2nd anniversary in NOLA. The 20 hour drive back and forth was worth it. We enjoyed the French culture, food and all the jazz. This is a place worth visiting, it's really out of the ordinary.

June

I got a chance to meet with Nelson's high school buddies in Tampa, FL. It was fun to see him with them as they were going back memory lane of all the crazy adventures they did together. Of course, what is a Florida trip without going to the beach right? Even if the weather was not cooperating, it didn't stop us from taking a plunge. I was ecstatic to meet up with cousin who lives there now. By the end of the month, my siblings came to see us in Nashville. It was a happy reunion. Back story though, during their visit, Nashville experience a state wide blackout due to weather conditions and it's been years since I experienced such. One for the books! 

July

This has been the hottest summer according to some folks. A record breaking of 100F temperature was hitting Nashville. In order to cool off, we have checked out some bodies of water around us. Luckily, we are surrounded by lakes and waterfalls that are in close proximity to us. I still prefer the beach but I'll take what's available.

August

There was a major change at work that led to a bittersweet goodbye. I'm still thankful for the change because it allowed me to do some thinking and solo traveling. I went to San Antonio to visit my good friend, Angie and her family. It was a week long of life updates and future goals. I also got a chance to meet their baby, Charley. I thank the Freemans for the time well spent and most especially for bringing me to Magnolia Market in Waco, TX. On the other hand, I flew to New York to surprise my parents. I pulled it off with the help of my siblings. It was such a great feeling to be home, to be with my nephew, to eat some home cooked Filipino food, to meet up with some friends, to be in the beach and to make new memories. One thing is for sure, New York will always hold a special place in my heart and I will and always be forever grateful of the life lessons it has taught me.

September

I came back to Nashville recharged. I also started with a new work opportunity which I'm so grateful for. God really works in mysterious ways. I have so many doubts and questions but of course, He has answered me and assured me once again that His plans are greater than mine. Just like the waterfalls, He will continue to be the source of strength, hope and abundance.

October

This year, I'm so grateful for the new found friendships. The beginning of 2019 was a little bumpy. I was homesick, lonely and sad but I was given an opportunity to meet these wonderful ladies. I feel loved and appreciated by all of them. I continue to pray for this God centered sisterhood and to remind myself that there are no coincidences in life but only divine appointments.

November

We spent some time to be with Nelson's family in Florida as we celebrate his sister's pregnancy. I also got a chance to meet some of his siblings for the first time. Bigger family, the better! Also, this  month is so special and will be cherished forever because I gave my sweet YES to my best friend.

December

Turned 30, got married= a double check on my bucket list. But seriously, God has truly graced me with so much favors this 2019. I have reached a new milestone, married the love of my life and celebrated my first anniversary in my new home. I'm so thankful for the many blessings I have received. Time and again, God has reminded me that His plans are better than mine and He for sure listens to our prayers. 

I bid goodbye to 2019 with a grateful heart. It has been a wonderful year for me. It is in my prayer that as I embark the new year, I will be able to put into actions the lesson all I've learned and to try to always have an open mind and heart for the new challenges that will come my way. 2020, I'm so looking forward for you! Lezz do this! #Roaringtwenties