breakups to BREAKTHROUGHS

Hello 2016!

I am welcoming you with high hopes that this year will be better. I said to myself that this will be the time where I will be making bolder choices in my life, exploring different possibilities and to embrace myself with God's pure love. 

The past year was tough. I went through different kinds of storm in my personal life. No matter how prepared I was, I wasn't exempted. I had to go through all of it and experience hassles, pains and sufferings. But going back to those moments, I said to myself, "This too shall past!" And yes, it did because I am still here and every single day I'm striving to become better.

I quit my job, April of 2015. It was a very hard decision but I have to do it because I wasn't happy anymore. I have learned from the past the it is important to put your self-sanity in the equation of your work because if I kept going and I was feeling miserable about it, I will be unfair to the people I was working with. I didn't find my purpose in the teaching field. Due to the many changes of the educational system, I felt like an odd rose sitting in the bunch of sunflowers. Of course that transition wasn't easy because it has affected my finances. But honestly, at that point I offered it all to God and I made a promise that from that day forward, I will be going to daily mass because I don't have any excuse not to go since I have the luxury of time.

Every single day, God unveils to me His message and that it to trust Him. Being jobless gave me a chance to reflect on what is happening in my life, and He pointed out to me that the state of my heart wasn't doing well too. God is funny like that, He would take everything from you because I think that is when we would experience our true selves. No doubt, my heart got broken and torn into little pieces. I didn't blame God neither my partner because I know that is what He wants from me, to experience this kind of break-up so that I will have the chance to breakthrough with HIM. 

My heart, my mind and my soul rests upon God and even if I am starting this year, healing, I know in His perfect time, I would experience that ultimate joy that I deserve. No hurt feelings, no negative thoughts only learning from the past I will carry with me. And if 2015 was stormy, 2016 will be a whirlwind of adventure. 

"We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of our Father's love for us. " -Divine Mercy

Mission Trip

Date: September 2, 2015

I was given a chance this year to be able to spend my summer in a different way which is to be on a mission trip. It was a joyful and lots of self-discovery adventure and praise be to God for the experience.

When I was discerning to go this trip, I don't have any funds in my account to suffice all of the expense but God used other people to help me augment all of my needs and many thanks to them for sharing their blessings. For this trip, I prayed to God that I may be able to somewhat find answers to my unending questions, to rediscover myself from the worldly perspective and most of all to seek Him as my source of everything in my life.

During my entire trip, I have learn a lot of things and made some realizations that I want to share with all of you.

1. Being away from family.

This is the first time after so many years again that I was away from my family and it was very difficult. There were moments that I cried so much because I just missed them and it really made me realize of how important they are in my life. I was not used to the fact that they are not beside me and that during this trip I was on my own but God is still good because I was well taken cared off by the people I am with. I really honor all those people who have been living by themselves, it must have been tough not having your family around you to share just anything. And for those who are still living in the presence of their families, enjoy every occasion that you have with them because time will come that you will have to be by yourself.

2. Out of your comfort.

Not only the time difference that messed me up but the mere fact that I am in a place where I am a stranger. I enjoyed my time being in the west coast but the adjustment I have to make is that I don't know how to mobilized myself from place to place. Unlike New York, there is a subway that I can just take and would bring me to different places but in the west, either someone will have to drive me around or will have to take public transportation by which I am not familiar with. But what I learned from this experience is that when you are out of your comfort zone you begin to do new things that are exciting and life-changing. And I realized that getting lost can be fun. 

3. There's always that first-time experience.

Part of my mission trip is to serve at the different conferences of the community. During preparation and execution, I have been deprived from sleep since call times are always early and we end the day really late. But the most exciting part are the big surprises along the way and it was during the Handmaid's conference because I just thought that my job for the weekend is to do visuals but I never expected that I also need to read the outlines and do visuals all at once. For me that time, there was so much pressure because the Titas are on point and I also want to be give them justice. But thankfully, we were able to manage things and everything went well. #bestconferenceever

4. Be grateful. Have fun!
I am always excited whenever I get the chance to go somewhere because I know that I will be able to gain new experiences, meet and re-connect with friends, try different food, visiting churches, long drives and most of all just allowing God to take me to places. And one thing I have learned really is that wherever you are, it is necessary to leave all your worries behind and just enjoy the greater scheme of things.

5. What is God telling you?
One of the most important thing I have learned during the entire sojourn was to take time in listening to what God is trying to tell me. As some of you know, before I left New York, I was really emotionally unstable and I felt at that point I can't seem to find myself. But instead of finding me, I found HIM. God assured me that I just need to take courage and take out the fear in me because He is preparing me for something beautiful.

I think once in awhile we need to make bolder choices in our life and we just need God to take control of everything. This is just the first of many.