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| My last memory of Lola Bebs, Camiguin 2010 |
A death of someone so dear to you is really painful to accept. No matter how prepared you are, it would hurt bad. So bad!
As some of you know, my grandmother just passed away. When I first found out about it, it took me awhile to process the news until I saw a post on facebook (they say, its never official 'til its on social media). When I read the post, tears kept falling off my eyes. All my memories with her flashed back and all I could ever think about is how will my dad cope through this very sad news. And on my end, I felt guilty not being able to see her when I had the chance.
We are really saddened about the news and the pain we feel cannot be prescribed by any medicine. But the lesson I have learned from this death experience is what I think will at least ease out the hurt.
1. Death is the beginning of new life. We know that our dear Lola is gone but we believe that she is now enjoying her new journey with our Creator. We may not be able to see her physically but in spirit she will remain in us. Death does end a life but that will also pave a way to an everlasting life with God where there will be no pain and suffering, only abundance of happiness. So death is not something to be scared of because all of us are destined to die and when that happens, we will be renewed in God's kingdom.
2. Death can make or break a family. This is one of the challenge we have to face; either we will stand strong or feeble. I guess, each one of us felt that a part of us was taken away but with the assurance that we got each others' back made it easier for us to be united. We are taking this opportunity to tighten whatever loose relationship we have in the past and start anew. We needed to fill in each others' weaknesses so that moving on will be easier.
3. It is okay to not to be okay. When I got the news, I stepped out of my class and stayed in the teacher's lounge for awhile. My supervisor came in and asked if what's going on with because I look so terrible. So I shared to her what happened to my grandma and what are my worries. I felt a little better after our conversation because she told me that, "It is okay to allow yourself to feel sad because it is one way of remembering the person and all the memories you have together."
4. Let go and let God. Even if we say it to ourselves that we have already accepted my Lola's fate, we are still shaken by the reality of her death. We were all shattered to pieces. But as of now, we have to let her go and allow God to heal us. There will be some scars in our hearts but it will be a sweet reminder of how our dear grandmother lived her life.
5. Pray. To be prayerful is one of the legacies that my lola has left us. As what my uncle has said, she was our power generator. Everyday of her existence, she alloted her time in doing prayer novena for everyone of us. She intercedes starting from the oldest child down to the youngest and includes their individual families. The clear message here is, to us, the young generation, we should carry this attitude of prayer. So in our own personal time, we should find an avenue to pray for one another and continue to have faith.
Moving on will not be easy, but we have to remember that we all have an expiration date in this world. My Lola's time was up but she fought a good fight. She will remain to be a warrior to us-- have raised 9 children, survived life out of nothingness, braved dialysis for 5 years, epitome of true love and a firm believer of God.
To my Lola Bebs, I know you are now in God's hands, happy and free. Please watch over us and be our guardian angel. I love you dearly! <3
