LOVE MORE: Be present

My personal testimony during the SFC conference of how I experienced the constant presence of my household leader in my life and through their special presence and involvement I am inspired to continue my service to God.

2010 was when I moved to New York City. At first I really didn't understand as to why I'm here in the US, well aside from the fact that my parents really wanted us to be together but honestly, at that point, I feel like I was a place of nowhere. One of my worries that time was that I don't have my friends with me to explore this new city I am in. I was also a fresh graduate back then, I don't have a career yet, I don't have any money, I have nothing. Living in the city was a very hard transition.

2012. My parents who were actively serving the CFC, asked me if I wanted to join SFC. I said to myself, why not since I really don't do anything and I was 21 that time, why not give it a try. The CLP took 7 weeks and I never missed anything. But truly what is significant during the CLP was that I met new people who were passionate in serving Christ. They were like big brothers and sisters to me, I enjoyed being pampered and having that someone to talk to. I think that moment, God affirmed me that I can still find friends in the city that never sleeps, not only the regular friends but the friends that would stay in the end.

When I was integrated in my household, I was expecting that I will be able to dominate the group since I am very talkative, hype & most of all I think I know everything. But the sisters I am with were very patient with me, they showed me how the community works, they accepted all of my shortcomings, they helped me strengthened my faith in God and most of all valued me as a person. I learned a lot of things about myself and the beauty of the new found friendship and sisterhood. I was really glad that the for the longest time, my longing to be with my friends back in Cagayan de Oro was compensated by the genuine care from my first household. I cannot commend enough my household leader that time, Ate MaiMai dela Cruz, who exerted a lot of effort to checked on me, gave her time &  poured her love until I become that beautiful flower. One of my unforgettable experience with her, was my first ever conference in LA. As a first timer, I was scared because I don't know what to expect but Ate Mai made sure that I was not alone during that event, she was there for me, she took care of me and most especially she prayed with me. And I can significantly remember that that was also the time when God knocked my heart with the lingering thought of mission. Truly, I was beyond blessed to be served by Ate Mai. 

But as a beautiful flower I still have that prickly things in my heart that my second household leader carefully dethorn me. She unceasingly prune me from my actions, thoughts and words. As some of you know I have a very strong personality that I tend to assert myself even when we are called to be obedient to our leaders. It hurts to be corrected and I admit that sometimes I withdraw when I am criticize but what Sheiky helped me realize is that if the correction is done with so much love and with the purest intention, take it by heart because that person truly cares for you. Sheiky and I really made a bond, she saw me at my weakest and supported me at my strongest. I really honor her for giving a piece of her friendship with me. Sheiky always believed in me and my dreams for the community. She was the one who pushed me to do more, to go to missions, to serve and the one who consistently reminded me that God can and will love me even with my imperfections. 

Brothers & sisters, I myself am a work in progress but I believed that the Lord knows when to put the right people in our lives and indeed he did for me. He gave me people from this community where I was able to know Him more, serve Him more & love Him more. With these people in my life, I have shared with them my heartaches and tribulations, successes and victories and for one very special reason: to grow in love with HIM.

Now that God called me to be a household leader and a mission volunteer, what better way to serve my members and all the other people around me is to love them unconditionally just like how I was loved. And more importantly, it is in my prayer that God may help me give my best self in service because I have received His greatest gift in my life, which His love shown thru others.

Amdg++

My Grandmother: A Warrior

My last memory of Lola Bebs, Camiguin 2010

A death of someone so dear to you is really painful to accept. No matter how prepared you are, it would hurt bad. So bad!

As some of you know, my grandmother just passed away. When I first found out about it, it took me awhile to process the news until I saw a post on facebook (they say, its never official 'til its on social media). When I read the post, tears kept falling off my eyes. All my memories with her flashed back and all I could ever think about is how will my dad cope through this very sad news. And on my end, I felt guilty not being able to see her when I had the chance.

We are really saddened about the news and the pain we feel cannot be prescribed by any medicine. But the lesson I have learned from this death experience is what I think will at least ease out the hurt.

1. Death is the beginning of new life. We know that our dear Lola is gone but we believe that she is now enjoying her new journey with our Creator. We may not be able to see her physically but in spirit she will remain in us. Death does end a life but that will also pave a way to an everlasting life with God where there will be no pain and suffering, only abundance of happiness. So death is not something to be scared of because all of us are destined to die and when that happens, we will be renewed in God's kingdom.

2. Death can make or break a family. This is one of the challenge we have to face; either we will stand strong or feeble. I guess, each one of us felt that a part of us was taken away but with the assurance that we got each others' back made it easier for us to be united. We are taking this opportunity to tighten whatever loose relationship we have in the past and start anew. We needed to fill in each others' weaknesses so that moving on will be easier.

3. It is okay to not to be okay. When I got the news, I stepped out of my class and stayed in the teacher's lounge for awhile. My supervisor came in and asked if what's going on with because I look so terrible. So I shared to her what happened to my grandma and what are my worries. I felt a little better after our conversation because she told me that, "It is okay to allow yourself to feel sad because it is one way of remembering the person and all the memories you have together."

4. Let go and let God. Even if we say it to ourselves that we have already accepted my Lola's fate, we are still shaken by the reality of her death. We were all shattered to pieces. But as of now, we have to let her go and allow God to heal us. There will be some scars in our hearts but it will be a sweet reminder of how our dear grandmother lived her life.

5. Pray. To be prayerful is one of the legacies that my lola has left us. As what my uncle has said, she was our power generator. Everyday of her existence, she alloted her time in doing prayer novena for everyone of us. She intercedes starting from the oldest child down to the youngest and includes their individual families. The clear message here is, to us, the young generation, we should carry this attitude of prayer. So in our own personal time, we should find an avenue to pray for one another and continue to have faith.

Moving on will not be easy, but we have to remember that we all have an expiration date in this world. My Lola's time was up but she fought a good fight. She will remain to be a warrior to us-- have raised 9 children, survived life out of nothingness, braved dialysis for 5 years, epitome of true love and a firm believer of God.


To my Lola Bebs, I know you are now in God's hands, happy and free. Please watch over us and be our guardian angel. I love you dearly! <3

LOVE THE UNLOVABLE

Is there a particular someone in your life right now that is hard to love or to accept? And even if you try to love and accept them, your feelings towards them never change. Weird, huh?

Well, we lived in a world that consist of people that would definitely push our buttons. Whether this person is within our family, work place, church or merely acquaintances, they drive us insane. There are a lot of possible reasons why we don't like that person. It can be more of self issues, even if you don't admit it, that particular somebody has something you don't have. Or maybe that person doesn't qualify your standards of being cool. Or maybe that person has an annoying habits that you just can't stand. But whatever it is, how can we love the unlovable?

I really get sensitive with this kind of issue because I am guilty of such. There are those people in my life that challenge my patience and nudge me to my maximum limit. And of course on the other hand, I am sure there is a somebody who feels the same way towards me too. But honestly speaking, at the end of the day, we ask ourselves, would we rather choose love or just keep hating?

God, on the other hand, has loved us with no provisions. He accepts us despite of our sinfulness. At times, we have ran away from him. We even blamed Him for all the misfortunate events that happened in our life but he has always blessed us in so many ways. He shows us his mercy and compassion. That's why, it made me think how can I love just like Him? How can I love without asking for anything in return? And how can I love those people who are hard to love? 

I think God purposely gave us these people in our lives for us to love those who cannot repay us with love. This is hard but it all makes sense. Those people who are annoying, who are testing the water, who are seeking for attention are those people who don't receive enough love and that is why we are there to give it to them. It would be a hard task but I am sure this is what we are made for: to love until it hurts no more. By showing our kindness towards them, we are actually exhibiting the depth of our love to God.

Keep in mind that God never asked anything in return, not in kind and not in monetary but through our service. Let us show love to those people who are the least, the lost and the last. Let us love because we are loved. Let us forgive because we are forgiven. Whenever we are having a hard time doing this, let us remember the abundance we receive from God and we let Him become the reason why we love deeply. <3

25 Life Lessons

With a happy heart, I am proud to say that I am not really getting any younger. But praise God for this achievement because not all was given a chance to reached this stage. As I embark this journey, I want to share the things I have learned over the past 25 years of my life:

1. Your family will always be there no matter how old you are.

I am just so blessed that I have a family I can always rely on. They are there for me in my trying times and has remained to be with me every step of the way. No matter how I try to push them away, they have never given up but instead they have loved me more than I can imagine. So, to my parents, I really honor you for taking care for each one of us and to my siblings, you are my bestest frenemies. :)

2. Friends come and go.

There will come a time when all of our friends will have to move on with their own lives and of course, we all moved on too, but the friendship we've built with them will always have a special place in our hearts. I really want to thank all of you, one way or another you have touched my life in a significant way and I will forever treasure all our memories together.

3. The world doesn't define you.

I may not own the latest gadget or drive a luxury car but all I know is that, I can still live my life accordingly. It is not about what you have after all but what you do with what you have.

4. Look back and move forward.

The past will be in the past and no matter how I try to change it, I can't. But it is best to look back and learn from my mistakes and doesn't allow history to repeat itself? Carry on!

5. Cherish the moment.

Why would we spend our time complaining even to the dumbest thing in the world? I am guilty of such and I need to start reliving the moment I have now before time runs out and I wouldn't be able too. So let us all be more grateful and more appreciative with our lives.

6. Love yourself more.

There is no other person who can love you more than YOURSELF. So let us take care of our own being, embrace our imperfections and continue improving.

7. The older you get, the bigger the responsibility.

True to that! When I was younger I never worry about anything but now, I am thinking about my future me and if I don't get my act together, I would end up being somewhere in between. So I think it is time to be more mature in handling obligations.

8. Always do good.

My dad keeps on reminding us that if you do good to others, goodness will come back to you. And you know what when you do good things, you will also feel good about yourself. So let us start to show kindness and compassion to that old lady on our subway ride and offer our seat. I encourage you all to do a random act of kindness to a stranger or even to your family members and make this world a better place.

9. Learn to forgive.

Over time, I have been struggling in forgiving those people whom caused me so much pain. I really prayed to God that he would give me a heart that would be more understanding and accepting. And for those people whom I have hurt in my words and actions, please forgive me. And also I forgive you too, you know who you are. Just please give me more time.

10. God will always provide.

In our nothingness, He will continue to provide. Imagine our life here in the US, you may think we are on the top of the world but we are struggling in surviving here but with God's grace our life is in luxury of His love and mercy.

11. Have faith.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:6." Just keep on believing that someday, all of our heart's desires will be granted and that day will be our happiest moment.

12. Allow others to love you.
It is very important to give others a chance to love us because sometimes that's what we need after all. At some point, I had a hard time letting others do this because I am afraid that they might hurt me at the end, but honestly speaking, love is the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. I have not only learn to love me, but I have allowed love to fill me.

13. My feet is still on the ground.
No matter where I am, what I have become, my feet will always be on the ground and I don't have any right to step on anybody's shoes.

14. Embrace change.
They say the only constant thing in this world is change, and I agree to that. People change. Place change. Even ourselves change. We all became a better version of ourselves (hopefully!). Although, sometimes change is good, sometimes it isn't but what else can we do? Accept it!

15. Reward your self.
This is one of my guilty pleasures in life. I try to treat myself at least once a month. It is very important that we take care of our own needs too. It is fair that after a week's hardwork, we deserve to have a relaxing spa day, or watch that new chick-flick movie. Whatever it is, we need to validate ourselves from time to time in order to survive. So go for it, it won't hurt to spend a little for you. :)

16. Save up for the rainy day.
Money, money, money! I just realized that we all need to have that emergency funds that we can just withdraw from time to time when needed. This is something that I really need to work on. I depend a lot of today and not thinking of what's tomorrow be like. So let's double our savings for a brighter future.

17. It's not too late to learn a new skill.
This may sound super corny, but I really wanted to learn how to play an instrument at this age. I think  it's not too late to do something for myself because learning is a lifetime process. If there are any things that you would like to learn, go for it! So if you know anyone who will be patient with me in helping me strum a guitar or whatsoever, let me know. Lol!

18. Two wrong doesn't make anything right.
Adding one mistake to another will not change a thing but hence, will end up in becoming a bigger problem. For an instance, me and my mom always fight over small things and most of the time, It becomes a bigger issue because I ended up saying the not-so nice-things at her. Imagine, we were just arguing about dishes and the topic dishes jumps off to

19. LOVE is the most splendor thing.
If we patiently wait for love to come, it will find us wherever we are. We all need to believe that we are all here in this earth to learn how to love and to give it freely. True love doesn't define a person only but it can also describe our dreams and aspirations in life. True love is not only about our significant others but also those other people who needs it the most, it can be that beggar in the street or our most-hated-co-worker. Don't be afraid to love because it is the most beautiful thing that can ever happen to our life.

20. Conquer your fears.
I have been afraid to too many things: heights, scary movies, take-offs, change, people, etc. I think at this point in time I need to conquer all of these fears so I can soar above the sky. I actually envy some friends who do extreme things and just have fun with it. If only I can just get that  courage to just do it.

21. Listen.
I have to learn this the hard way because I am used to people listening to me. I guess, I need to take a moment and listen as to what others has to say, not only to others but what my inner self has to say about things. I feel empowered when my voice is heard but what I realized is that there are far better plans than my own and that is why there are a lot of missed opportunities because I stop listening. 

22. Stop and breathe.
As they said, New York is one of the busiest city in the whole world and you have to lived by it. But let me just tell you something about the fast-paced lifestyle, it is your decision if you want to go with the flow or taking things one at a time. Yes! New Yorkers are known for their busy schedule and even when they are commuting it seems like everybody is on a dash but you know what it is okay to stop and breathe. Look at the scenery around you, gaze towards the skyscrappers and see if how beautiful this city is and how blessed you are for living in the city that never sleeps. 

23. Count your blessings.
If I were given a chance, to write all the blessings I have received, I don't think I will be able to put an end to it. Because I believe that ever since I was conceived I was already given much gifts. So instead of complaining for what we don't have, I think it is important that we look at how much we have. 

24. Pray
One of the strongest weapon I have in my life is prayer-- it allows me to communicate to God and to be in union with him. This is my way of praising and thanking Him for all the wonderful deeds He has given me. I believe in the power of prayer because through this I know Christ is with me wherever I go.

25. T.G.I.F.
As what others say it, Thank God Its Friday but for me, Today God Is First. I made a personal commitment to myself that I am allowing God to take hold of my life. In everything I do, I have to seek for Him first through every opportunity, to every people I meet and to every things. Because in my heart, if I find him first, everything else will follow through.